It's interesting to me all the modern advice about openings and how it's so critical that they capture the reader's interest in some formulaic way but ignore so many classics that seem to eschew those rules.
I some of my best work comes in the opening. It's always the middle that trips me up. Spilling the sum out on the page before going back to re-write any of its parts is definitely the way to go. I call my unreadable first drafts 'Draft 0.5'.
Thanks, Scott for reading! And yes, esp. in creative writing classes, it gets hammered into you, do this do that, set the hook. I don't mind a slow opening, it depends on the piece and the context. In writing, there are no rules. Guidelines, yes. Still, all openings deal with those Ws in one form or another.
In screenwriting, they call the first one, draft zero. Regarding the midpoint, you are not alone, I think it is unequivocally one of the trickiest moments, the most significant beat within any piece of work. That's why I think structure is far more important than plot or openings.
I am in Act 2 in my draft right now (5 Acts). Inching closer to that point...
Your opening is so intriguing! And I'm drawn towards 9 and 10, or the poetic side in me. This is such useful insight into writing an effective opening. I have a completely different approach, but I mostly write poetry and flashes on a more poetic side not grounded in reality at all lol.
Thanks, Nadia! 9 and 10 are great choices! Musashi is on my desk. Haven't gotten round to it, yet. About CARTER: I need to find the time to run a final edit pass and see how I best put it up here. Soon.
And poetry is reality! The only kind of re-ality! ;)
May 5, 2023·edited May 5, 2023Liked by Alexander Ipfelkofer
Two and nine are my favorites. The clipped sentences. The pacing. The glimpses they give into the story about to unfold. The atmosphere they create. The style of writing. The first person voice.
Eight was my least favorite. The redundant words in the first sentence. Revealing too much. Relying on the fact that a child in danger will hook the reader. I didn’t feel the danger. I didn’t care about the child. 🤔
Thanks for the great article. I enjoyed it a lot and found many of the openings great or at least intriguing. Some were great but I knew right away that it’s not my type of story or writing style. An opening can do a lot.
My take away: don’t use adjectives and adverbs in the first two sentences. Keep a sense of mystery. Focus on one aspect of the story to come. Be specific about that aspect but remain vague about the rest.
Number 2! I liked the humour in there. And 9 yes, I think I want to read that one, soon. And number 8... it's been on my reading list forever. Maybe one of those days.
Great takeaway, too! There's many ways to hook the reader, these are some and not all readers are hooked with the same hook. Another fishing analogy.🎣
Thanks a lot for reading and commenting, Claudia. Great to know you found it useful and enjoyed this!
I think that you mentioned another great take away and something that surprised me somewhat: every reader will have a favourite writing style, not everything that is appealing to me will be appealing to you and vice versa.
I loved no. 9 and having seen the series and read that opening line, I'm fired up. I didn't know that there was a book and that the style of the book was so similar to the series. I had a GoT flashback.
Yes! Absolutely! That is why I love experimenting with different styles and voices when I do Flash Fiction, my 1000 words sandbox. I did one in ye olde English style (may post it sometime) which certainly will not appeal to everyone. I had fun doing it, though.
Ahhh yes! The Kingdom. I heard good things about the series. Having not read the books or seen the series, I might opt to go the quick route... I did that with "The Last Days of Ptolemy Grey", saw the show, bought the book.
The show is great! You will not regret it: powerful characters, some interesting history, great plot. I wouldn't think about reading the book hadn't I seen the show, it's not a type of book I would pick on my own.
For GoT, I read the first book and then watched the show. But I regretted it, even though the show is amazing and the actors are sooo good. RR Martin's writing is so rich, I loved imagining the story without the show intruding in my thoughts when I read the first book. For the rest, every character had a face.
Well, now I have to check it out! Let's see where I can add a 25th hour to the day! I don't usually read Historical Fiction but am inclined to make an exception here.
Re: GoT I read all the books before. The show is great and they should have ended it with the Battle of the Bastards (what an episode!). It went downhill fast after that and then ran out of hill and kept plummeting still...
Excellent craft post! I'd love to see more of those from you! And I remember being so hooked by the opening of Leviathan Wakes when I read it, it throws you into the action immediately & it's very atmospheric. It doesn't even matter that Julie isn't a main POV character, as we learn later. She fulfills her purpose beautifully.
I probably don't pay enough attention to my own openings, not only first sentences but also first parapraphs, so thanks for the reminder!
Thanks, Vanessa. I am sure no reminder is needed. It is merely a brief look at a variety of openings and how or if they work. Some may think LeGuin's opening is boring, others prefer the Forever War, you honed in on The Expanse. Good choice, too. We all have our preferences, what works for some won't work for others, as long as it works for you, I'd say you are on the right track. Speaking of Expanse, it's a collaboration between two writers Daniel Abraham and Ty Franck, which gives it another level to look at. Even more so for the show, did you see it? Like it?
I stopped reading after the first book. It had some interesting ideas & it's obviously very exciting but in the end the characters & the atmosphere felt too 'macho' sci-fi to me which isn't something I'm drawn to these days. Although I can imagine it works better as a show so maybe I should check that out...
You managed to finish it. I may not. Not sure why but after a few chapters, I did not feel like picking it up again. I know the story, as far as the show is concerned and was interested to see the differences between adaptation and source work. The show gets credit for quite realistic space combat and from that point I have to agree, it has great production value and gets a lot of hard science points right. Characters on the other hand are rather flat and stereotypical.
Thanks, Emma, a bit of theory between the flash fiction pieces. Oh, and "marvellous and memorable" are not words I usually hear in the same sentence when referring to my name, but it is a nice thought.
I like yours the best, for Carter, cuz it immediately takes you right into the head of the character.
I've opened about 1,500 novels over the past decade, and I usually give the writer about 15 pages to hook me -- get me interested in the characters and events -- but in my experience the first paragraph is pretty damn important.
Thanks, Mike. 15 pages is a lot more than many would have the patience for esp. on the business end of things, or so I am told, which is best not to dwell on, too much. I am flattered that you picked Carter. It's reassuring to see that it works how I intended. For efficiency's sake, I cut the couch and the Sunday morning reference from the first paragraph. There's enough going on as is I felt. Not 100% satisfied, though. Let's see what will be the final edit.
PS I guess I haven't given this as much thought for my own writing from an analytical perspective. I tend to err towards the "how does it *feel* to me?"
Ah yes, but that is what we all do, it has to feel right. Maybe over time, with the delicious knowledge of what makes a great opening in mind, the number of edits will become less. Then again, beginnings remain hard...
Delicious post, Alexander. Here are my thoughts, from highest preference to lowest.
3. Yes. All the yes. Mysterious wall. Degenerated into mere geometry. This is just mastery of words -- it's LeGuin, so what else? (Plus, SF, so yes.)
9. I loved this for the intricate repetition and style. I am less bothered about any intrigue being established because I am mesmerised by the word/style/voice.
6. Feels like a deliberate hook, so I know the writer probably knows how to keep me reading. I want to know the why of her being trapped.
1. Intrigued. Not sure I like the style so much, but I enjoyed it more on second reading.
7. I like the voice, so I'm less bothered about the opening hook here.
8. I did feel some urgency here. The foreshadowing is tasty.
10. Yeah, good. I'm sorta so-so on the prose without reading more.
2. Good, like the voice and the intrigue is ther. Genre probably not my thing though.
4. Yes, it's all there, but I'm sort of meh about reading about Lucifer and hell.
5. Not a Heinlein fan (Stranger in a Strange Land is, in my opinion, massively overrated). The broken language is intriguing though, so if I didn't know it was Heinlein then I'd at least read a few pages ;)
Thanks, Nathan, appreciate the detailed response! Interesting that the two where you found the prose lacking are translated, one from French and the other from Japanese. I will give (10) a whirl and see if the pages that follow irk me, which may very well be the case. Seems we have the same impression about (9). It is indeed mesmerising, isn't it?
I have not read a lot of Heinlein and had this one on my list for a long time. I am told it did not age well, i.e. time is a harsh mistress on the Moon Mistress...
And then there is LeGuin. One of my favourites is Earthsea. Wonder if I would still like them as much as I did back then.
As for CARTER, I need to let it simmer a bit in the drawer before I look at it again. Soon!
I didn't realise that about the translation when I was reading the post the first time, but good catch.
As a lover of Murakami, I've often wondered whether I love Murakami, or the translation of Murakami ... I do gel with certain books more than others, but there's variance with the translator, so I'm sure it's not that.
So much yes re: 9. I'm going to check that book out for sure.
I see what you did there! What a coincidence. Sounds like a great opportunity for cross-posting. I think it is enabled on mine. Let me check this black cloak of yours.
On translation: I worked in Localisation for almost two decades. It is hard. What to translate and what to localise? What about place names? Proper nouns? Character names? Be it books, games or movies... Bilbo Baggins becomes Bilbo Beutlin in German, not too bad, and "Die Hard" is called "Piège de cristal" in French, say what?
Re: Rules of five Ws, I'd say it's more of a guideline.
(I don't know what exactly cross-posting is/how it works. I mean, the name makes sense for what it probably does, but I've never explored how that works on here...)
Wow, fascinating. That's amazing, but I cannot begin to fathom how difficult that must be.
😂 yes, Crystal Trap. That’s how people here know it’s Die Hard... the movie with the giant crystal skull no wait, different movie. And then Bill Murray needs to lip some stockings. Lost in Translation... so much, lost... as lost as we are with Cross Postings. I see the option in Settings but how do I cross post? Will it then link your opening post with mine? Can we create one giant cross post across all articles on Openings on Substack? The one Opening cross post to rule them all? Questions, questions.
Ahh, so it looks like it gets sent out to your mailing list when you cross-post. I thought it was some special website-linkage, thus capable of creating *The One Opening Post* you describe. Dang. We'll have to request that at the next Office Hours.
Thanks, Garett! It's great to see which is everyone's favourite, as a reader or a writer. We have quite a variety of preferences already! There is no right or wrong, try new things, see what resonates the most with you. Glad this is useful to you!
It's interesting to me all the modern advice about openings and how it's so critical that they capture the reader's interest in some formulaic way but ignore so many classics that seem to eschew those rules.
I some of my best work comes in the opening. It's always the middle that trips me up. Spilling the sum out on the page before going back to re-write any of its parts is definitely the way to go. I call my unreadable first drafts 'Draft 0.5'.
Thanks, Scott for reading! And yes, esp. in creative writing classes, it gets hammered into you, do this do that, set the hook. I don't mind a slow opening, it depends on the piece and the context. In writing, there are no rules. Guidelines, yes. Still, all openings deal with those Ws in one form or another.
In screenwriting, they call the first one, draft zero. Regarding the midpoint, you are not alone, I think it is unequivocally one of the trickiest moments, the most significant beat within any piece of work. That's why I think structure is far more important than plot or openings.
I am in Act 2 in my draft right now (5 Acts). Inching closer to that point...
Thanks for this detailed analysis!
Thanks, Priya. Hope you find it useful!
Your opening is so intriguing! And I'm drawn towards 9 and 10, or the poetic side in me. This is such useful insight into writing an effective opening. I have a completely different approach, but I mostly write poetry and flashes on a more poetic side not grounded in reality at all lol.
Thanks, Nadia! 9 and 10 are great choices! Musashi is on my desk. Haven't gotten round to it, yet. About CARTER: I need to find the time to run a final edit pass and see how I best put it up here. Soon.
And poetry is reality! The only kind of re-ality! ;)
We'll be waiting. :D I guess you're really right about this!
Two and nine are my favorites. The clipped sentences. The pacing. The glimpses they give into the story about to unfold. The atmosphere they create. The style of writing. The first person voice.
Eight was my least favorite. The redundant words in the first sentence. Revealing too much. Relying on the fact that a child in danger will hook the reader. I didn’t feel the danger. I didn’t care about the child. 🤔
Thanks for the great article. I enjoyed it a lot and found many of the openings great or at least intriguing. Some were great but I knew right away that it’s not my type of story or writing style. An opening can do a lot.
My take away: don’t use adjectives and adverbs in the first two sentences. Keep a sense of mystery. Focus on one aspect of the story to come. Be specific about that aspect but remain vague about the rest.
Number 2! I liked the humour in there. And 9 yes, I think I want to read that one, soon. And number 8... it's been on my reading list forever. Maybe one of those days.
Great takeaway, too! There's many ways to hook the reader, these are some and not all readers are hooked with the same hook. Another fishing analogy.🎣
Thanks a lot for reading and commenting, Claudia. Great to know you found it useful and enjoyed this!
I think that you mentioned another great take away and something that surprised me somewhat: every reader will have a favourite writing style, not everything that is appealing to me will be appealing to you and vice versa.
I loved no. 9 and having seen the series and read that opening line, I'm fired up. I didn't know that there was a book and that the style of the book was so similar to the series. I had a GoT flashback.
Yes! Absolutely! That is why I love experimenting with different styles and voices when I do Flash Fiction, my 1000 words sandbox. I did one in ye olde English style (may post it sometime) which certainly will not appeal to everyone. I had fun doing it, though.
Ahhh yes! The Kingdom. I heard good things about the series. Having not read the books or seen the series, I might opt to go the quick route... I did that with "The Last Days of Ptolemy Grey", saw the show, bought the book.
The show is great! You will not regret it: powerful characters, some interesting history, great plot. I wouldn't think about reading the book hadn't I seen the show, it's not a type of book I would pick on my own.
For GoT, I read the first book and then watched the show. But I regretted it, even though the show is amazing and the actors are sooo good. RR Martin's writing is so rich, I loved imagining the story without the show intruding in my thoughts when I read the first book. For the rest, every character had a face.
Well, now I have to check it out! Let's see where I can add a 25th hour to the day! I don't usually read Historical Fiction but am inclined to make an exception here.
Re: GoT I read all the books before. The show is great and they should have ended it with the Battle of the Bastards (what an episode!). It went downhill fast after that and then ran out of hill and kept plummeting still...
Excellent craft post! I'd love to see more of those from you! And I remember being so hooked by the opening of Leviathan Wakes when I read it, it throws you into the action immediately & it's very atmospheric. It doesn't even matter that Julie isn't a main POV character, as we learn later. She fulfills her purpose beautifully.
I probably don't pay enough attention to my own openings, not only first sentences but also first parapraphs, so thanks for the reminder!
Thanks, Vanessa. I am sure no reminder is needed. It is merely a brief look at a variety of openings and how or if they work. Some may think LeGuin's opening is boring, others prefer the Forever War, you honed in on The Expanse. Good choice, too. We all have our preferences, what works for some won't work for others, as long as it works for you, I'd say you are on the right track. Speaking of Expanse, it's a collaboration between two writers Daniel Abraham and Ty Franck, which gives it another level to look at. Even more so for the show, did you see it? Like it?
I stopped reading after the first book. It had some interesting ideas & it's obviously very exciting but in the end the characters & the atmosphere felt too 'macho' sci-fi to me which isn't something I'm drawn to these days. Although I can imagine it works better as a show so maybe I should check that out...
You managed to finish it. I may not. Not sure why but after a few chapters, I did not feel like picking it up again. I know the story, as far as the show is concerned and was interested to see the differences between adaptation and source work. The show gets credit for quite realistic space combat and from that point I have to agree, it has great production value and gets a lot of hard science points right. Characters on the other hand are rather flat and stereotypical.
Interesting post, thanks. Also, you have a quite marvellous and memorable name. This has to be a big plus in life.
Thanks, Emma, a bit of theory between the flash fiction pieces. Oh, and "marvellous and memorable" are not words I usually hear in the same sentence when referring to my name, but it is a nice thought.
I like yours the best, for Carter, cuz it immediately takes you right into the head of the character.
I've opened about 1,500 novels over the past decade, and I usually give the writer about 15 pages to hook me -- get me interested in the characters and events -- but in my experience the first paragraph is pretty damn important.
Thanks, Mike. 15 pages is a lot more than many would have the patience for esp. on the business end of things, or so I am told, which is best not to dwell on, too much. I am flattered that you picked Carter. It's reassuring to see that it works how I intended. For efficiency's sake, I cut the couch and the Sunday morning reference from the first paragraph. There's enough going on as is I felt. Not 100% satisfied, though. Let's see what will be the final edit.
PS I guess I haven't given this as much thought for my own writing from an analytical perspective. I tend to err towards the "how does it *feel* to me?"
Which usually involves ~3000 edits.
Ah yes, but that is what we all do, it has to feel right. Maybe over time, with the delicious knowledge of what makes a great opening in mind, the number of edits will become less. Then again, beginnings remain hard...
Delicious post, Alexander. Here are my thoughts, from highest preference to lowest.
3. Yes. All the yes. Mysterious wall. Degenerated into mere geometry. This is just mastery of words -- it's LeGuin, so what else? (Plus, SF, so yes.)
9. I loved this for the intricate repetition and style. I am less bothered about any intrigue being established because I am mesmerised by the word/style/voice.
6. Feels like a deliberate hook, so I know the writer probably knows how to keep me reading. I want to know the why of her being trapped.
1. Intrigued. Not sure I like the style so much, but I enjoyed it more on second reading.
7. I like the voice, so I'm less bothered about the opening hook here.
8. I did feel some urgency here. The foreshadowing is tasty.
10. Yeah, good. I'm sorta so-so on the prose without reading more.
2. Good, like the voice and the intrigue is ther. Genre probably not my thing though.
4. Yes, it's all there, but I'm sort of meh about reading about Lucifer and hell.
5. Not a Heinlein fan (Stranger in a Strange Land is, in my opinion, massively overrated). The broken language is intriguing though, so if I didn't know it was Heinlein then I'd at least read a few pages ;)
Great work on yours. I'm in. Lots of questions.
Thanks, Nathan, appreciate the detailed response! Interesting that the two where you found the prose lacking are translated, one from French and the other from Japanese. I will give (10) a whirl and see if the pages that follow irk me, which may very well be the case. Seems we have the same impression about (9). It is indeed mesmerising, isn't it?
I have not read a lot of Heinlein and had this one on my list for a long time. I am told it did not age well, i.e. time is a harsh mistress on the Moon Mistress...
And then there is LeGuin. One of my favourites is Earthsea. Wonder if I would still like them as much as I did back then.
As for CARTER, I need to let it simmer a bit in the drawer before I look at it again. Soon!
I didn't realise that about the translation when I was reading the post the first time, but good catch.
As a lover of Murakami, I've often wondered whether I love Murakami, or the translation of Murakami ... I do gel with certain books more than others, but there's variance with the translator, so I'm sure it's not that.
So much yes re: 9. I'm going to check that book out for sure.
This reminded me (and I promise this isn't a shameless plug), but I did something like this to a very limited and amateur way back in this post: https://slake.substack.com/p/a-black-cloak-snapping-in-the-wind
This was purely on feeling, rather than all those lovely rules of "W's" that you set out.
I see what you did there! What a coincidence. Sounds like a great opportunity for cross-posting. I think it is enabled on mine. Let me check this black cloak of yours.
On translation: I worked in Localisation for almost two decades. It is hard. What to translate and what to localise? What about place names? Proper nouns? Character names? Be it books, games or movies... Bilbo Baggins becomes Bilbo Beutlin in German, not too bad, and "Die Hard" is called "Piège de cristal" in French, say what?
Re: Rules of five Ws, I'd say it's more of a guideline.
(I don't know what exactly cross-posting is/how it works. I mean, the name makes sense for what it probably does, but I've never explored how that works on here...)
Wow, fascinating. That's amazing, but I cannot begin to fathom how difficult that must be.
Does that translate to "Crystal Trap"? Huh?
😂 yes, Crystal Trap. That’s how people here know it’s Die Hard... the movie with the giant crystal skull no wait, different movie. And then Bill Murray needs to lip some stockings. Lost in Translation... so much, lost... as lost as we are with Cross Postings. I see the option in Settings but how do I cross post? Will it then link your opening post with mine? Can we create one giant cross post across all articles on Openings on Substack? The one Opening cross post to rule them all? Questions, questions.
Ahh, so it looks like it gets sent out to your mailing list when you cross-post. I thought it was some special website-linkage, thus capable of creating *The One Opening Post* you describe. Dang. We'll have to request that at the next Office Hours.
Thanks, Kri for the restack! Appreciate it!
Thanks, Garett! It's great to see which is everyone's favourite, as a reader or a writer. We have quite a variety of preferences already! There is no right or wrong, try new things, see what resonates the most with you. Glad this is useful to you!
Very mysterious opening, isn't it? Good choice Kri. Glad you find it useful.