Fantastic story, Alexander. It does feel like it just flowed - even the tricky parts feel smooth as if it was all in your head and just spilled out like the wine itself. Many good stories share a spilt bottle. Excited to read where it goes.
Thanks, Kate! Yes, it was fun writing it down in one go. Sure could edit more I bet but that’s always the case. It was a Chateauneuf-du-Pape which got edited out, didn’t feel like spilling such good wine 😅
Euuuw!. Brilliantly creepy and twisted. I loved this line: I“I brought Chinese, Mother. The noodles you like.” I hope the unsuspecting Mandy gets out of there.
Thanks, Sharron! Glad you found it entertaining. The jury is still out whether Mandy will make it or not! I wonder what the others think! Will she won’t she?
Oh yes, I loved this story. The second reading was just as creepy. "Were he in charge, he would run out of warning slips faster than rats out of an aqueduct. The comparison gave him pause. Statistically, he was unsure whether that was accurate. " and "“Three per cent? Three—What the fuck have we been doing? Wanking off all day? Unacceptable. My neighbour’s snot-nosed five-year-old could sell more units than you, losers.” I loved the boss and I loved the mother's voice in Reggie' head. Beautiful! You are so talented, Alex!
You’re too kind, Sharron! Just saw this comment now. I wonder oftentimes when we go back to what we have written if we would change much if anything, esp. once I compile the pieces together into one. Thanks again for reading! ❤️❤️❤️
Fantastic story, Alexander. It does feel like it just flowed - even the tricky parts feel smooth as if it was all in your head and just spilled out like the wine itself. Many good stories share a spilt bottle. Excited to read where it goes.
Thanks, Kate! Yes, it was fun writing it down in one go. Sure could edit more I bet but that’s always the case. It was a Chateauneuf-du-Pape which got edited out, didn’t feel like spilling such good wine 😅
Hahaha
Can’t wait for the follow up...
It will be a while. Mandy will have to think of Barry Manilow in the meantime. ;)
Ha. I can wait!
Euuuw!. Brilliantly creepy and twisted. I loved this line: I“I brought Chinese, Mother. The noodles you like.” I hope the unsuspecting Mandy gets out of there.
Thanks, Sharron! Glad you found it entertaining. The jury is still out whether Mandy will make it or not! I wonder what the others think! Will she won’t she?
Brilliantly done, Alexander with a great last line
Also, well done on telling such a tragic and chilling tale but still squeezing in a line from Life of Brian! 😁
Thanks, Daniel! Yes indeed, I always like to hide some Python nuggets here and there ;) glad you caught it! 😀
👏👏 didn't see it coming until the very last moment! Superbly executed, Alexander. Some lovely little lines in there.
Naturally, he grew up to become a statistician.
😅
Don't you just love it when the words flow out quickly?
Tried to navigate to that sensorama website ... link doesn't work for me 🤔🤣
Thanks, Nathan. If the twist was a surprise then mission accomplished. 😁 And yeah, stories that write themselves are a lot of fun!
Someone better register that domain name fast 😅
Mission accomplished for sure :)
Oh yes, I loved this story. The second reading was just as creepy. "Were he in charge, he would run out of warning slips faster than rats out of an aqueduct. The comparison gave him pause. Statistically, he was unsure whether that was accurate. " and "“Three per cent? Three—What the fuck have we been doing? Wanking off all day? Unacceptable. My neighbour’s snot-nosed five-year-old could sell more units than you, losers.” I loved the boss and I loved the mother's voice in Reggie' head. Beautiful! You are so talented, Alex!
You’re too kind, Sharron! Just saw this comment now. I wonder oftentimes when we go back to what we have written if we would change much if anything, esp. once I compile the pieces together into one. Thanks again for reading! ❤️❤️❤️
The last dialogue line is very harrowing--gives me the heebie-jeebies. I have a bad feeling about this! Well written :).
Thanks for reading, Nadia! And yes, that last line is WAI. Working As Intended.
Maybe we put it to a vote on whether Mandy gets out. Readers decide, like in an interactive story ;)
Oh, that's a fabulous idea. I vote for her to surprise them and play cat and mouse with them and maybe win. Muahahah.
Mandy wins, 1 vote! But who is “them” ;)
Hehehehe...
This was so good! I didn’t suspect anything till the end!
Thank you, Priya! A surprise twist for the unsuspecting reader. So happy it worked!