Again, I really love the energy in the dialogue and then in juxtaposition with the narration. You create a useful rhythm between characters and action. Also really enjoying this idea of a magnetic pull.
Thanks, Kate for reading! It's always a juggle to get the beats right (thinking in screenplay terms). Glad you found it works here. Next up: Denouement incoming, doubt, growing reluctance. Then Rising Action, Re-acceptance again and then in the last chapter Resolution/Cliffhanger, a sort of 5-act structure in 7 "Chapters."
Dec 27, 2023·edited Dec 27, 2023Liked by Alexander Ipfelkofer
Oh my gosh, what a wild ride! The end left my heart sad and empty and longing for more of course. Also love love love this paragraph: "Fine. So fine. The finest of threads, neurons speeding along, carrying signals to their new destination, impulses, fragments, memories, streaming along a golden network of light, leaving, never returning, gone. Forever."
Thanks, Daniel. I was hoping the past and present would work that way without confusing too much. Glad to hear you liked it. Same here, re holidays. 🍪🥨🍪
Whoa! This chapter was thrilling, and way over my head, Ipfelkofer! I didn't understand anything. But who cares! ha ha ha. I read it twice! I don't know about you, but there are a LOT of things in my life I don't understand. Doesn't stop me.
Carter doesn't understand most of it either it seems! As long as you're having fun, although too cryptic might be something that could need some tweaking. We'll see how things go in the next chapter when Samuel has a revelation.
The Melville reference was subtle but inspired.
❤️ You know I thought it might be too much on the nose! So glad you think it worked. It's one of my all-time favourite short stories.
It's lost on me because I haven't read it 😔 (I assume Moby Dick?)
Which line?
It's Bartleby, the Scrivener. His reply when his boss asks him to do something is... ;)
Ahh, I see. Thanks. Will look it up.
Yep, it's a short read. But well worth your time. Gutenberg as a copy.
Again, I really love the energy in the dialogue and then in juxtaposition with the narration. You create a useful rhythm between characters and action. Also really enjoying this idea of a magnetic pull.
Thanks, Kate for reading! It's always a juggle to get the beats right (thinking in screenplay terms). Glad you found it works here. Next up: Denouement incoming, doubt, growing reluctance. Then Rising Action, Re-acceptance again and then in the last chapter Resolution/Cliffhanger, a sort of 5-act structure in 7 "Chapters."
Oh my gosh, what a wild ride! The end left my heart sad and empty and longing for more of course. Also love love love this paragraph: "Fine. So fine. The finest of threads, neurons speeding along, carrying signals to their new destination, impulses, fragments, memories, streaming along a golden network of light, leaving, never returning, gone. Forever."
Thanks, Nadia. It's time Carter catches a break, maybe, if that's in the cards for him. Maybe a pretzel... an existential one.
An existing existential pretzel that will help him exist!
Imperatively so, but it has yet to come into existence. One way or another. Or is it a Schroedinger's Pretzel?
Hahah. I think that pretzel deserves a standalone story of its own.
The Pretzelverse... where everyone turns into... a pretzel!
Don't mind if I do. My skirt will be white chocolate-y! :D
My favourite line too. It has such great flow, especially in context.
Yesss!
Thanks, Nathan!
Thrilling. What a great ending to this. The ship is gone?! 😲
Love the criss-cross of past and present, especially in the context of what was happening.
Thank you, Nathan. The U-boat is gone... but where? We'll find out next time. Happy to hear the flashbacks worked!
Excellently done, Alexander. I loved the cross referencing of the past, the present and how that will pull Carter forward to his uncertain future
Still pretty much in holiday mode for the next week or so, but taking my time to get caught up on all my reading and this was a great start 👍🏼😁
Thanks, Daniel. I was hoping the past and present would work that way without confusing too much. Glad to hear you liked it. Same here, re holidays. 🍪🥨🍪
Whoa! This chapter was thrilling, and way over my head, Ipfelkofer! I didn't understand anything. But who cares! ha ha ha. I read it twice! I don't know about you, but there are a LOT of things in my life I don't understand. Doesn't stop me.
Carter doesn't understand most of it either it seems! As long as you're having fun, although too cryptic might be something that could need some tweaking. We'll see how things go in the next chapter when Samuel has a revelation.
I'm in!