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Claudia Befu's avatar

Very good pacing, I’m looking forward to the next part.

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Très bien!!

A lot going on here. I'll admit I had to read it twice to catch all of the details. Intrigued by this line:

"The accident interfered with his timeline."

Feels like there's a sense of predestination to this, or maybe I'm reading to much into it. Regardless, I like it a lot. The pacing, as Claudia notes, is great, there's some great descriptive phrases, especially that opening paragraph! Really sets the scene. Wasn't expecting the more futuristic-ness when the holoband popped into play, but I'm down with it :)

Looking forward to how this all unfolds!

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